The 10 Myths of Teen Dating by Daniel & Jacquelyn Anderson

Author:Daniel & Jacquelyn Anderson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: teen dating;dating advice;emotional health;rules for dating my daughter;dating rules;Christian dating advice;peer pressure facts;parenting teens;raising girls;teenage dating;dating in high school;safe dating;raising a teenage daughter;healthy dating relationships
Publisher: David C. Cook
Published: 2016-07-27T15:07:58+00:00

Why This Should Alarm You

When she confuses love and sex, a girl believes even more that she is experiencing the deep love of attachment and will invest far too much of herself in a relationship far too soon. The danger of this for a young girl is that when sex replaces love, there is a mixing of hedonic and goal-centered happiness. For married people, one of their goals in life is usually a harmonious and fulfilling marriage. Most adults understand that a satisfying marriage is much more than sex. While a part of marriage, sex is not the totality of marriage. But when sex and love are tied together, sex can become the totality of the relationship. If relationship goals such as intimacy, communication, and shared vision are replaced by the hedonic goal of sex, then sex becomes the barometer of the relationship. And how does this make the girl feel? Used.

Even worse, if sex is love, it means the boy loves the girl, right? And if so, then that means his other behaviors are secondary indicators of his love. He doesn’t call and text regularly? That’s okay, because the love is in the sex. He doesn’t make her feel special when they are together? That’s okay, because the love is in the sex. He flirts with other girls? That’s okay, because the love is in the sex. He yells at her? That’s okay, because the love is in the sex. He pushes and hits her? That’s okay, because the love is in the sex. If a girl comes to believe that sex is the goal and measure of happiness, then she can put herself into unhealthy situations that can compromise her future happiness.

At the beginning of this chapter I told the story of the young woman who was “dating” Zach and how she had confused love and sex. While it may seem to be an impossible story to believe, I will tell you that nearly any girl might be prone to confusing love and sex—including your own daughter! This fact makes the rest of this chapter critically important.

Preparing Your Daughter for Future Happiness

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